Stuff

BUGS (1991)

Slippery, slimey little creepie crawlie kinds of bugs
Always seem to turn up on my basement floor and rugs
I’m not quite certain why they slither underneath my door
But when I squash their guts out, they don’t do it anymore!

THE SPIDER (1991)

Dangling from the ceiling on a line of silken thread
Making me a nervous wreck as I lie here in bed
I know if I turn out the lights and try to get some sleep
You’d quickly drop down on my bed, then on my head you’d creepspider
So, I’ve reviewed my options – and the one I like the best
Is to squash you like the bug you are, so I can get some rest!

MONARCH (1990)

Fluttering freely to and fro against the morning sky
Evoking childhood memories of summer days gone by
Oh wondrous Danus Plexipus, the picture of perfection
‘Tis a shame you must die –
To become part of my –
Butterfly –
Collection!

ODE TO HENNA’S FEET (1975)

Although you travel every day, you really never leave
Because you’re simply too attached to Henna, I perceive!

TO HENNA (1976)

In a world of khazerii, it seemed too much to wish
For someone quite as wonderful as you, my little knish
But somehow, midst a multitude of burgers, fries and malts
I ended up with you, my little chicken soup mit schmaltz!

MOM’S CAST (broken foot 1981)

Roses are red, violets are blue – and so is your foot!!

MY GIRL? (1992)

Yesterday I caught a bug – I put it in a sack
When I saw my girlfriend, I put it down her back
She screamed, she jumped, she double-pumped and did a backwards flip
She wiggled, jiggled, shook it out , then punched me in the lip
Then she called me all these names I never heard before
(I wonder if that means she’s not my girlfriend anymore?)

GINA (1992)

Gina doesn’t like me much, that’s really plain to see
Everytime I’m with my friends, she comes and picks on me
She hollers, “You can’t catch me,” then she clops me on the head
I wish she’d bother Christopher or Billy K instead
She thinks that I’m a silly goof – she tells me every day
Then she tries to kiss me, but I always run away
She’s always making faces at me – scrunching-up her nose
Gina doesn’t like me much – I guess it really shows!

FELICIA McSHARDY – Go to H– (1992)

Felicia McShardy was constantly tardy
She always came fashionably late
When she died, Saint Peter stopped by to greet her
But he was to busy to wait
So he sat down and wrote Felicia a note
Before he left in defeat
It said, “Since I missed you, I cannot enlist you
…………….Hope you won’t mind the heat!!”

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